Reality Show Star & Life Coach Demetria Lucas “I Left My Husband”

Demetria Lucas Comes Clean About Her Marriage

Life coach, author & former “Blood, Sweat & Heels” reality star Demetria Lucas  reveals on social media that she’s left her husband. Penning a lengthy message about her failed union, Demetria admits that things had been in shambles for almost a year and that while he didn’t “beat” her, she could no longer stay. See message below.

View this post on Instagram

I left my husband. That’s why I don’t wear my ring. I woke up on my birthday in July and instead of celebrating, I was thinking of ways to die. Our marriage had been in shambles for nearly a year. I think it’s tacky to drag a partner or spouse publicly, so that’s all I have to say about that. He didn’t beat me. I only mention that because a surprising number of people have asked, and upon hearing he didn’t, have encouraged me to work it out. Apparently being beat on is the only acceptable reason to leave your husband. So what if a woman is perpetually unhappy, keeping a husband is far more important than that. I chose life. I’m glad I did. I’ve been working on getting to happy. It’s been hard. I’ve been consumed with shame, embarrassment, insecurity and fear. Over the last five months, I’ve been told that having a husband validated me, that he gave me credibility and I will be nothing without him. I’ve been told no one will want me. I’ve been told my career as a life coach, dating/ relationship expert and author is over. Maybe if I had been in a better place, I wouldn’t have believed those things. I am in a better place now. I decided not to be held hostage by fear and shame, or hurt and regret and anything else that keeps me from living my best life. I decided not to waste my pretty. I go out, and I dress up, and I smile despite what I’m going through. I chant the lyrics to Anthony Brown’s “Worth” on the treadmill. I have a therapist. I read a lot of autobiographies and self-help books. On days I don’t feel good enough, I celebrate someone who I think is. I have friends who ask, “You ok, Sis?” Sometimes yes, sometimes no. There are days I still pull my truck over in the emergency lane and cry. I wish our marriage could have lasted. To do so would have required me to suffer in silence indefinitely. I tried and failed at that too. I don’t know what all the lessons in this are yet, but I am actively trying to discover them. One thing I’ve (re)learned is the truth of my grandmother’s words, “just keep going”. My world imploded and I faced all my worst fears at once. What I thought would destroy me, did not. I am grateful. #dontwasteyourpretty

A post shared by Demetria L. Lucas (@demetriallucas) on

Advertisements

Maya Angelou : A Poetic Genius

Angelou_Maya_182_gallery-image_42889Angelou_Maya_172_gallery-image_42888ANGELOU_MAYA_10011_gallery-image_42896

My heart is sadden. Today May 28, 2014 Maya Angelou was found unresponsive in her Winston Salem home this morning.

RIP to one of the most iconic phenomenal, inspirational, literary poets of our time..she has inspired me since middle school, her words are not only uplifting… They’re honest, powerful & profound.. She was an amazing philosopher who touched lives around the globe. She has opened doors for black women like myself to write freely & from the soul.. Watching my all time favorite movie ” Poetic Justice ” growing up I was very impressed and INSPIRED with the poetry that was featured in the film. Since that day I write freely and from the HEART. She single handedly inspired me to WRITE ….Her words will live on forever.

In honor of the legendary writer, here are 10 of her most memorable quotes:

1. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

2. “Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently. You can be anything erratically, but to be that thing after time,you need courage.”

3. “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

4. “It is time for parents to teach young people early on that in diversity there is beauty and there is strength.”

5. “Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.”

6. “You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot – it’s all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.”

7. “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” 

8. “I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.” 

9. “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” 

10. “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” 

d_134_article-small_42901Angelou_Maya_152_gallery-image_42886Angelou_Maya_06_gallery-image_42875

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

ANGELOU_MAYA_10007_gallery-image_42894Angelou_Maya_03_gallery-image_42872ANGELOU_MAYA_10013_gallery-image_42898